What One Teacher Does the Day After a School Shooting...
I've been a teacher for 12 years, and I'm sad to say that yesterday's school shooting saddened me, but it didn't shock me. It seems like at least once a year a shooting at a school forces me to think about the career path I've taken and the risk attached. And every time I hear of a school shooting, a few things go through my head:
1. Will this finally be the school shooting that causes people to shout, "Enough!" and force their elected officials to do their job and protect their constituents?
2. Is this going to happen at my school? With the frequency of events like this and my government's refusal to do anything to stop it, it really, truly feels like only a matter of time until this happens to me or someone I know.
But even as these thoughts go through my head, I still have to go to school the next day. Sadly, this is how I do it:
I think about Psalm 139 where I am reminded that God is acquainted with all my ways and that the days that were formed for me were written before I was born. I don't say that cavalierly or with the foolish idea that God ever plans for someone to be a victim of a tragedy. I say that meaning that I go to work the next day trusting that I don't go anywhere alone. That no matter what that day holds, God is with me, and He is never caught off guard. I can trust that no matter what I experience, He will walk with me through it and guide me.
I think about what I really believe about life, death and heaven. I remind myself that heaven is ultimately my home, and while I want to be on earth as long as possible, staying alive is not my only objective. Loving God and love others is; that means that if my students' lives are at risk, I pray that I would have the courage and strength to choose to protect them even if it cost me my life.
And then I think about the prayer we pray at the end of every communion service. After receiving communion, we end our time together by saying,
"And now, Father, send us out to do the work you have given us to do, to love and serve you as faithful witnesses of Christ our Lord."
This line has been running through my head all year this year. As I feel overwhelmed with what's going on in our country and what's going on in the lives of so many people I love, God keeps reminding me that my job is to do the work He has given me to do--no more, no less. While looking at the whole picture overwhelms me, when I focus on the work I have been given to do, I am able to trust God with all of the other parts that are not part of the work I've been given to do. And this prayer resonates in an even deeper way on days like this. I go to work the morning after a school shooting trusting God that the work He has given me to do is good work, and that what ever happens to me as a result of that good work is going to be okay.
I know this may sound like I live in a state of depression or panic, but it's quite the opposite. When I think about the broad and beautiful story that God is telling and my role in it, I no longer need to cling tightly to my own safety. I can rest in the belief that God is in the midst of my life whether that's a boring day and my greatest struggle if figuring out how to find time to eat lunch or if my day is one that changes everything.
But I do need to make a point here--no teacher should have to go through this thought process. I have to, but I shouldn't. I shouldn't have to think through what I would do if a person came into my school with an assault rifle, because no one needs an assault rifle. I shouldn't have to remind myself each morning that I am trusting God with my personal safety because we should have a healthcare system that readily provides care for those who need mental health care. I shouldn't have to think about how I would protect the children in my school because the elected officials that each of us has sent to represent us should be making sure that laws are enforced, loopholes are closed, and new laws are written that make us as safe as our peer nations. While I understand guns for hunting and even some forms of guns for self protection, the ability to purchase guns that allow you to carry out mass shootings is something that makes no sense to me. And any reason you have for wanting one or needing one doesn't outweigh the safety of kids going to school or the safety of people going to concerts or movies. I'm not going after your gun or your 2nd Amendment right. I'm saying that all rights have limits, and it's time for our government to take action.
1. Will this finally be the school shooting that causes people to shout, "Enough!" and force their elected officials to do their job and protect their constituents?
2. Is this going to happen at my school? With the frequency of events like this and my government's refusal to do anything to stop it, it really, truly feels like only a matter of time until this happens to me or someone I know.
But even as these thoughts go through my head, I still have to go to school the next day. Sadly, this is how I do it:
I think about Psalm 139 where I am reminded that God is acquainted with all my ways and that the days that were formed for me were written before I was born. I don't say that cavalierly or with the foolish idea that God ever plans for someone to be a victim of a tragedy. I say that meaning that I go to work the next day trusting that I don't go anywhere alone. That no matter what that day holds, God is with me, and He is never caught off guard. I can trust that no matter what I experience, He will walk with me through it and guide me.
I think about what I really believe about life, death and heaven. I remind myself that heaven is ultimately my home, and while I want to be on earth as long as possible, staying alive is not my only objective. Loving God and love others is; that means that if my students' lives are at risk, I pray that I would have the courage and strength to choose to protect them even if it cost me my life.
And then I think about the prayer we pray at the end of every communion service. After receiving communion, we end our time together by saying,
"And now, Father, send us out to do the work you have given us to do, to love and serve you as faithful witnesses of Christ our Lord."
This line has been running through my head all year this year. As I feel overwhelmed with what's going on in our country and what's going on in the lives of so many people I love, God keeps reminding me that my job is to do the work He has given me to do--no more, no less. While looking at the whole picture overwhelms me, when I focus on the work I have been given to do, I am able to trust God with all of the other parts that are not part of the work I've been given to do. And this prayer resonates in an even deeper way on days like this. I go to work the morning after a school shooting trusting God that the work He has given me to do is good work, and that what ever happens to me as a result of that good work is going to be okay.
I know this may sound like I live in a state of depression or panic, but it's quite the opposite. When I think about the broad and beautiful story that God is telling and my role in it, I no longer need to cling tightly to my own safety. I can rest in the belief that God is in the midst of my life whether that's a boring day and my greatest struggle if figuring out how to find time to eat lunch or if my day is one that changes everything.
But I do need to make a point here--no teacher should have to go through this thought process. I have to, but I shouldn't. I shouldn't have to think through what I would do if a person came into my school with an assault rifle, because no one needs an assault rifle. I shouldn't have to remind myself each morning that I am trusting God with my personal safety because we should have a healthcare system that readily provides care for those who need mental health care. I shouldn't have to think about how I would protect the children in my school because the elected officials that each of us has sent to represent us should be making sure that laws are enforced, loopholes are closed, and new laws are written that make us as safe as our peer nations. While I understand guns for hunting and even some forms of guns for self protection, the ability to purchase guns that allow you to carry out mass shootings is something that makes no sense to me. And any reason you have for wanting one or needing one doesn't outweigh the safety of kids going to school or the safety of people going to concerts or movies. I'm not going after your gun or your 2nd Amendment right. I'm saying that all rights have limits, and it's time for our government to take action.
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